Told to
write…”Build it and he will come”
I started off a book many years ago, and got off well.
Even had support from a close friend of mine who read, gave advises and all
that stuff necessary. After a while, I sent a few hundred pages to an Agent and
a publishing company, and was positively surprised, though one thing happened
which made me lose interest; despite they asked me to finish, they told me to
dig deeper in regards to some of characters and also, not to write a fast consumed
novel, the ones you buy when you travel and want to kill a few hours..BUT, that
was exactly what I wanted to do, nothing else, so I lost my drive, my flame blown
off and that was that. I write in very much a script kind of way, where I
create the action/scene etc in my head, then I write, and that is me.
So now years later, I also got to understand two things:
I was seeking for instant gratification, the shit was and still is good, and
secondly... I wasn’t ready to kill my babies, and maybe they saw something I
didn’t. But can I change myself or is it improvement? I want to write to
release myself from over 50 years of good and bad shit and do it as therapy. I read
books today, though not as I used to do, and when I read some of the crap,
because it is crap, and I realize the authors making a killing out of the
“crap” I can sink deeper in a pity party, screaming: Where is the f-cking
quality? Where’s the story, the kick, the juice that makes the book become
alive? I wanted to write stuff so it would be an awakening for my readers.
I can’t write about fashion or blogging about my latest
shoes or my latest assignment...I mean who would read it? Who would read about
thoughts from a 50+ man, though with an interesting career and some adventures
behind him? So, I partly understand the supporters who voted for DT, he made
them feel valuable again and seen. “He made me exist!!” It makes sense; feeling
and being outside is terrible, when no one would even care if you are there or
not, only when they need a vote or something else. So it becomes a one-way
relationship. What do you expect to happen when they have a chance to get even?
They will fuck you up! A lot!
Giving a person a reason to exist is the greatest thing
you can do for another human being, and it doesn’t have to be someone close or
someone you know, can be anybody. That gift can be a smile, a Hi wazzup,
helping someone that fell and so on and actually listen to them. Taking for
granted and feeling entitled is the new thing around the corner and it doesn’t
help anyone in the end.
So the blogs should be short or long? They answer me:
They need to be interesting...Ok? Looking at the world today, I am completely
outside: been told NOT to write/tweet/FB/Instagram since as a Corp Exec I might
ruin my chances for career moves, and if I write I need to write about stuff
which people wants to read... I am kind of blocked here. Always felt lonely and
still do since I miss intellectual challenges. To be honest; I want to talk
about Gary Cooper and High Noon with someone, and there is no one out there.
The other minute I want to talk about Kardashians booty, and then I have a few
I can select from...
My brother told me, I don’t belong in this century and
that is for sure...I have this strange view and opinion that our brains should
be used at maximum and explore the possibilities how far a person can take it
and what makes us blocking ourselves. If I want make money, I need to write
about: Sex, Fashion, Horror or really shocking stuff just to get a second of
attention. Maybe that’s who were are, at least the ones with a fairly good
life; consumers of everything and seeking the ultimate kick. The ones fighting
for their lives every day have other priorities.
Yesterday I saved a person’s life or yesterday I took a
dump big as Mt Everest…Look! I have pictures. I am a dying breed and praying
for a GK bigger than Europe to come and reset everything. The clean slate.
So if a bunch of people have been saying things for a
decades and no one listens, and then along comes Dr Phil and Joel Osteen and
makes a killing on that by repeating it… What took place? What was the missing
ingredient for the ones doing in first place?
Counselor: Do you love him? Hurt wife: Yes I do.
Counselor: Then you need to tell him that since that is exactly what is needed
right now. Do you see the sacrifice healing everything? Hurt wife: I can’t and
I am not the one that should take the first step, he cheated on me and thinks I
should get over it… Suddenly from nowhere, in comes Dr Phil: Do you really love
him? Hurt wife 1 looks at her husband; Yes I do, and I do forgive him and I do
realize through my rejection of his love he was forced to cheat on me, not only
once but 73 times, where of 30 with my Sister, which I also forgive since
family is always family. Dr Phil, thank you so much to open up my eyes for my
own shortcomings. Your account number please?
Sometimes I understand why and where DT woodwork
supporters are coming from and how the creation of them actually works.
